Users on Ok Cupid exchange about 4 million messages a day.Of course, they do so with a special purpose — dating — but the interface provides no specific prompt and enforces no limit on what or how much anyone types.And in terms of effect, it seems readers have adapted.The best messages, the ones that get the highest response rate, are now only 40 to 60 characters By considering only messages of a certain length, and then asking how many seconds the message took to compose, we can get a sense of how much revision and effort translates into better results.So why is it that so many guys and girls (yes girls too) fail miserably in avoiding the move from the Inbox to the trash can?Extensive research into online dating statistics show that there are some set rules that we all need to follow.
In reality, it’s seen as a passive-aggressive way of trying to bait someone else into making the first move. At worst, you’ve just sent the wrong message A proper first contact message is convoluted; you want to set certain expectations and convey an attractive image of yourself. It sounds a little cold-blooded and impersonal, but you’re going to want to have a stock first message. Treat approaching women on online dating sites should be like dynamite fishing; you want to toss your messages out there and see what floats to the surface.
like randomly approaching strangers and demanding that they get coffee with you.
But now that you’ve had some time to try things out…
have you considered that maybe, just maybe, you’re going about it all wrong?
Much like dating in the real world, online dating presents an almost infinite number of ways to shoot yourself in the foot and kill your chances before you even get started.
That's what the perfect first message would look like. Mostly it's just a bunch of pics with his buddies at a bar and the 'About Me' section says "Ask me and I'll tell you" or a series of random letters to take up space. I'm not vain and I don't want people to comment on my looks. So if they introduce themselves, pick up on an interest in my profile and expand on it i.e. I don't like really long messages or sounding too much that they're trying to impress me.